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Self Discovery


There was nothing special about me - born in a simple family. I mean by simple-my family was like any other ordinary family. And I was child who lived in her dreams and I always imagined myself as an actor – I was never real, well hardly. I had covered myself with the layers so that no one gets to see the real me. As I child I had very less friends or I changed them. And at times I wanted to be with a group but couldn’t because I felt I wasn’t like them or they would feel I am not like them. So, I used to be with people who did not have friends or those weak kids. I felt like a ‘Messiah’ and I used to take pride in that but deep down I wasn’t happy with them. I always wanted to be with my group of friends who were smarter and a better company but I was too scared to be accepted back – if only I would have tried, I would have known that I was living in fool’s paradise. Kids accept anyone. Those few thankfully are still my friends. I never really lost touch- we reconnected and we still have memories but I really regret not having more.
I never really moved out of myself. I enjoyed my own company because I felt safe there. I never really enjoyed my school or college life because I had hidden my real self and was too scared to get ‘Exposed’ so I stayed away. I felt inferior, weak. I did make some friends later in my college life but I never was there. But I am thankful to Him, He surrounded me with such a wonderful people who accepted me the way I was but still nobody took me out.
I joined my post-graduation and there I had no escape route because my college became my home. Slowly I started becoming insecure-I used to behave differently. No one understood me because I still had to understand my own self. Yes, I introspected a lot but then I still was miles part in getting introduced to myself.
I met many guys but I never stayed because I thought I deserve better or something different. I waited for that handsome prince who would swipe me off my feet and would fall head over heels in love with me. I waited waited and just waited. In that process I got married had kids but I was still waiting. But then I was jolted by this person who entered my life at the time when I needed her the most. She wasn’t a regular well wisher friend but she was rude and blunt but I have never had a more real friend. She was anything but Fake. And because of her I started rewinding my life. My school life, college life, my friends everything and she made me to think and think. I knew that life is bitter in some ways but how we make it depends on us.
And I met my Prince Charming. And guess who it is- It is your own self. You are heads over heels in love with yourself and you are your best friend, and if you want yourself to be happy- No one can make you sad.
I discovered myself and I realized there is so much in me that I never explored and slowly and steadily I became a better person for myself and also handled my life more sensibly.

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